So I'm not much of the homemaker; My mom tried but it didn't take. This youthful decision to choose anything but learning how to cook has been much to my detirment. I have had lots to learn in the last 2+ years. These last few days have proved quite entertaining for Bryan and quite infuriating for me. Two nights ago I made Bry dinner (I really hate cooking so I was feeling very accomplished). I'm finishing the meal off by sprinkling salt over it and instead the whole rock salt contraption breaks dumping about 2 cups of salt over the food and counter and floor. I start screaming. Bryan comes down stairs and starts laughing. I start crying. Later that night I get an obscene phone call from my 15 year old brother making fun of my inability to cook. I'm not sure how he reigns superior in this area considering the kid probably doesn't even know how to make toast but still he manages to rub it in.
Last night I'm trying to do laundry so we can pack for Christmas. I start the washer but forgot one of the shirts...so I run grab it, stop the machine, put it in, and try to restart it. Will it restart? Ohhhh no. I unplug it...still wont work. Somehow I managed to ruin our brand new washer. That is talent people. So here I sit in pants that I just wore, sulking about the fact that I will be packing dirty clothes to take to California.
This morning Bryan says to me, "Don't touch anything while I'm not home...you may burn down the house or something." Lovely.
2:50 PM
Shall we add to the list. Why not! I get back from my lunch break and like any pregnant person I need to empty my bladder (sorry not trying to be too graphic). I do this and flush--much to my dismay the toilet explodes everywhere. Not exactly what you expect when you use 3 squares of toilet paper. Now I am not exaggerating--weeks worth of everything a person never wants to see come flying out the toilet and spilling onto the floor. I come out screaming again. Don't ask me how I do it--I am just on a roll.
I think tonight I will crawl into bed and not touch anything, guaranteeing the world goes unharmed.
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5 comments:
Poor Ashley, what an un-fun night! But at least you get to come to wonderful California! Hopefully the icky gray skies clear up for you while you're here:)
Try not to feel too bad. It just takes some practice. I had a similar experience a few weeks ago only with a spicy seasoning and my chicken. We were having the missionaries over and one of them ended up having a throat problem and couldn't eat spicy foods. Poor guy had to pick out all the chiken from the dish.
oh ash! you have my yucky bad luck! i'm sorry for your mishaps. we really need to find something to make fun of bry for. :)
oh gosh, i have so many stories like that. it is what keeps you on your toes! you are hilarious! love ya
Oh my gosh Ashley...I'm not gonna lie - I did laugh when I read this!! Here's hoping for an uneventful Christmas!! : )
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