Yo-Yo Effect.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Hanging Stagnant. Stuck. Jerked Up. Down. Up. Down. Looped.

Bryan is about to graduate law school and this is the perfect explanation of the past 3 years. I'm pretty positive the reason that I have felt this yo-yo effect is because I'm obsessive. In the past three years our dreams and goals for life have changed drastically and continuously. Truly, they have been ALL over the map. As an obsess-er, I don't just think about our future, I live it. With each job application I have mentally moved to each town, unpacked, and started my life. I've gotten to know the people, and embraced living in each very unique location. For the longest time I lived in Northern California surrounded by extended family. That changed. Why? I don't even know. Then for a year long clerkship I lived in a fishing town, right off the ocean {Ketchikan, Alaska} where I got to wear those cute rain boots since it pours most of the year there. I've raised my kids in Dallas, Texas where the school systems were incredible, my husband was a big wig litigator, and we owned a 5,000 sq. foot house in an adorable neighborhood among the most hospitable people. When this didn't work out, with tears in my eyes, I packed my bags and headed to North Carolina and my beautiful wrap around porch. For awhile I was an Airforce wife, as Bryan was in the JAG program. The Summerlin area in Vegas has also been home with it's awesome parks, running paths, and year round sun. My kids went to The Meadows and I paid $15,000 a year for them to wear plaid and go to kindergarten. I've stayed in Utah with my amazing anesthesiologist, had 12 kids that I could actually take out in public, my husband worked for a growing firm in Provo, we went to all the BYU sporting events, and stayed near our friends. I have even lived in a van down by the river.

This is my Yo-Yo Effect. We had dreams starting out. Then the market crashed half way through law school and since we have altered these dreams. We've sent out hundreds and hundreds of applications. My heart and my moving truck followed each application. We've been blessed with jobs, and we've had rejections. Things have felt right, and then they've felt wrong. Many hours have been spent on our knees.

Bryan graduates next Thursday and things are finally starting to fall into place. At this moment I feel like my yo-yo has finally been put down. {Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself by saying that.} Either way, along this journey I have been humbled and learned to place my faith in my Savior. His plan for us is better than anything we could have dreamed up ourselves. It might not have always been the easiest path, but I know it is the right one. As I press forward I'm sure my Yo-Yo will be picked up again for some other reason; I'm grateful to have this faith building experience to look back on for courage.

And can I just say, how unbelievable proud I am of my husband. As I'm writing this he is going on his 12th hour at school studying for his last finals. He has been so dedicated and determined and full of hope; I love him for that.