Normally when someone asks me how I'm liking being a mother of two I would respond, without hesitation, that I love it. Today if someone asked me I would have probably said I'd wish I had my tubes tied when I got married.

Sweet, sweet Caden has been on the terror.

My day started at 5:25 AM, because of Caden, not Parker.

The early start was followed by the loss of a full bottle of conditioner, a few ounces of my Bare Minerals, and a DVD. Don't ask. He took a bit out of every apple in the bowl on the kitchen table. Then proceeded to walk around holding one. I thought he was eating it, but actually, he hates the sour taste of green apples, so he was spitting his baby bites out all over my freshly cleaned floor. AHHHHH.

I was attacked by a pocket knife. Yes, the little devil figured out how to get the blade out. Never been so scared, panicked, shocked in all of parentdom. (Bryan put it on the kitchen counter thinking that was a safe place. Apparently Caden, in his 2 feet of glory, has learned how to climb onto the kitchen counters. Later in the day he tried to displayed his true athleticism by doing a pull up to get there. The mean mom stopped his feat.)

We also took 2 baths (it's only 3 o'clock). One due to Caden's sneaking into the bathroom and sticking his hand in the toilet to give himself a new hair do. OH MY GOSH.

I took him outside hoping he would run off some energy. The first thing he does is pick up a stick and run at a car. I believe we were outside for a total of 4 minutes.

This has officially been the longest day of my life. And these were just the bad things. He also made a huge mess while "creating" with his play dough, accidentally spilt his milk at lunch, turned off the DVR so my Gilmore Girls didn't record, etc.

I'm writing this and thinking, I am a good mom, dang it. How did this day happen?!?! I have raised him to be better than this! I think I've counted to 3 four million times, and doled out about 20 timeouts. And I swear he has done all this while my back has been turned for MAYBE 1 minute. I mean, I do have to at least feed and change Parker. I'm always in the same vicinity as him. I'm convinced that he is the most mischievous, sneaky little boy on the planet.

He's in his room now taking a "nap." Did I mention that there is a rope from his door to the banister so that he can't escape?

And the worst part...I was left without a single Diet Coke in the house this morning.